I have come to realise a trend.
The more a girl loves a guy the more she is being controlled by him.
Is this true? Do you find that you are at the starting point of being controlled by your guy?
Lets check this out?
Case Study: Me.
Well, it is pretty true. Mostly. I will tend to listen to them, accomodate my time to suit their schedule, so that all is well for them. Then, when the moment of letting them go/giving them up, I stand up for myself, and go against them automatically almost purposefully.
So right now. Am I being controlled by Joshua?
Outwardly, kind of. Muahaha..
Yup. I try to accomodate my time to suit his schedule etc.
But I think God is trying to teach me a lesson here.
I got into a situation where my working hours practically clashes with his.
I have to work on a Sat as well.
Our church timings don't match.
And when he goes out to meet his friend, I am FINALLY learning that, our time don't have to match every single day! Just a few precious couple time a week will be more than enough.
I know
The truth is ok, at least for my case, when i love a guy, i hope that everything will be perfect. I'm not sure about you. And for others, where I was not too interested in romance stuff, I will not care if our timing meets. Instead, I will do my best to have them suit my timing. Muahaha..
So..ok. it means that Joshua means a lot to me.
It has however, dawned upon me quite some time back that, the one who is controlling me is not Joshua. It is me. I have been the one controlling myself, and limiting myself to do other things. Like ok, meeting friends (I apologise to my friends out there, but I'm working out my atrocious habit here.) I will try my best to have them meet my timing, so that I will be available for Joshua. Opps. I would tell myself no. And then not go..and find that hey..I have not been meeting my friends and it kind of goes down hill from there. This habit has been repeating forever.
And this time, for this relationship, old habits are crawling back, and I have to consciously tell myself that NO going back to old habit! And because I have decided to be with Joshua my entire life..Muahaha.. I am going to say hey Joshua, I will be going out with my friends or ask him if I can go (just in case there is a surprise planned) Muahaha..
So you are the one. You are in control of yourself.
And Shirley I have to get over myself and learn to experience all life and enjoy every moment and bits.
Imagine, you can actually think, for example, you want to learn the piano when you were a kid, but your family is poor, so can't afford. When you become a youth, stressed by school work, did not learn. When you reach adulthood, you are so busy with work that you have not time to learn. And comes old age when you have all the time in the world, and you say, I don't have the capacity to play anymore, I can't even walk!
OMG! What a MISTAKE!
Teacher Wayne is right. With whatever dream you have. With whatever you want to achieve, you have to start somewhere. So WEE! Have a enjoyable exciting ride of LIFE!
I have a huge surprise today. With regards to my elder sister. Wanted to SMS her saying Congratulations, and take good care of yourself. Mummy will still love you and Apple? And word of advise: To always remember to have the Da Jie's power! And when I went to my phone, then I remembered that the number I have is her old number which is memorised in my head, which was returned. I don't have her new number. Eh..what the heck!
Ok lah. Joshua did have a surprise for me. A bag of snacks and sugarcane. He may not realise that I'm super happy about it. But my heart did jumped for joy! Now I understand these composition words.
In the past, in primary school, when the teacher had us remember all those phrases to write down in the composition..like jumped for joy.. I didn't understand why. And now, when I experienced it, I understand. Like when I saw a cockroach in my room just now, I let out a Blood whirling scream!
I like working with Wayne and Philippa (my teachers), but I do not want to be thinking about which classes to put, and enroll students, arranging catch-up classes forever!(Though it involves a degree of decision making) I would like to have a change of job scope. Then again, I am grateful to work with them. It is true. I learnt the importance of customer service, being at least courteous to unreasonable customers especially when I am having a bad hair day myself! It is really cool to see how people dynamics works. At least, my theories in school are finally making sense to me.
