Well, people do get pissed off once in a while, here and there. This time, it was my mum's turn! She was so angry about Geez wanting a pay raise by cutting her own share of pay. She totally have the right to be angry. I would be too if someone wants more pay and cut my share to give herself. Diplomatically put, "You work one day less and I work one day more and get more money." I mean if you had wanted in the first place, why not say it when you first sign the contract? Like, these are the terms you signed to and I am not gonna change cause I have my right too.
Well, seeing my mum working hard, and such a demand was made, I can totally understand it. Everyone wants a little more of something right? A little more of money and rest and etc.
And is totally understandable why Geez wants pay raise. Cause her junior is getting much more pay than her. I'm just wondering..if she was working for another company and is receiving the current amount, will she dare to ask for pay raise? Also, I wonder, if I was the CM and suddenly another branch has a CM with a lower pay, would my mum's partner demand that my pay be the same as the other branch's CM? Well, these are circumstances we do need to think about.
In my mind, I'm thinking. If she is another company, she would not ask. If I was the CM, partner would be dropping obvious subtle hints that my pay should be lower. Haha. I'm being mean am I? Are they that bad?
But past memories, I do remember. I secretly was unhappy with Geez whenever she came to our house to play when we were young. I was happy with me and my sisters. Cause when she came along, I would have to give up my bike for her to play and use the smaller bike, which I have already out grown! And the reason she gave was because she is older and thus needed a bigger bike. And in my mind I was like YOU ARE ONLY A YEAR OLDER! But I can't fight can I? The fact is that she is older. I couldn't enjoy as much as I did with just my sisters. And in my head, I would just tell myself not to think about it.
And eating. We would eat together. Haha. I remember that I would always try my best to eat faster than her to win, so that I could get my bike back and ride it. But most of the time, I would lose..I do eat really slow when I was young. Eating was like work to me. Somehow, I didn't like eating but I guess it was because I didn't know how to swallow the food. Haha. Ok. And even when I do win once in a while, after her food is done, she would get back the bike from me. Sianz. And I would feel like telling her. HELLO! THIS IS MY BIKE! Not Yours! You are suppose to ask if you can borrow at least and I will say no. But I didn't. She would get the bike.
Well, habits do grow with you till you are old. From young, I give in. Didn't fight for rights. And now when I'm old, I give in still. Maybe that made me what I am today. I would like to do something else, but I would give in. And many a times, I give in to people until I have to take the blame.
A perfect example would be, I have to meet A at 5pm. I told B about it. And said I gotta leave at 4pm. (which is already a give in timing I have in my own head when a perfect timing would be 330pm) And as we are out B keeps asking me to stay. And I give in and leave at 430pm. As a result I had to rush like crazy and arrive panting and daze either on time, 5pm or late due to traffic) A is angry and I have been feeling like shit since 4pm because my head has been bombarding me about the timing, and calculating in my mind. And the whole day can be ruin. I have seen myself done that too many a times. I realise that I only know how to fight only when I'm at the corner Like at 430pm. And heck care about A and leave. But before that, I do not know how.
Gotta work on it Shirley. Gotta work on it.
I would really love to help my mum.
At the same time, I have been programming in my head not to take up jobs past 6pm. No weekends. And of course I gave in. Because the kind of job I have is in demand on off-working hours. And finally gave in to working on Monday till 8pm, Sat till 6pm and Friday till 9pm. I'm totally ok with Friday cause Sweet Heart will be busy. And I try my best to fit his timing. But, even after giving in..the boss said he was quite disappointed when I had offered so little. He was expecting me to work All days from 12pm-9pm except Wed (Cause I'm working for my mum) and Sun (Cause I have church and family time)
It sucks when you give in to do a job that you like and someone still says he is disappointed in you. And now, as I'm working, I'm like lucky I wasn't out of my mind to accept that "FULL-TIME" crap. Cause no CPF and If you count the hours, HELLO! It wil still be lesser than what GEEZ is having.
I'd rather work for my mum.
And at the back of my head right now, I'm thinking. What about my cert? It is the reason why I left SWU to join SS in the first place.
What about my secret plans that I'm working right now? If I do work for my mum like for a year at least..would I have the time to fulfill my secret plan? WILL IT EVEN BE EXECUTABLE?
While Geez wants more money at my mum's expense, I do want more money too but not at the expense of my time with Joshua and my SECRET PLAN.
Feel like teeling you all what the SECRET PLAN is but I'm not. That's why is called secret.
If I really do work for my mum. I will be taking another night off from seeing Joshua. BUT. In turn, I will be earning like double of now. With much certainty. (After giving my mum her 500 bucks, which I aim to give by next year)
Hmm, what a Jump it would be.
From "Free Labour" @ SWU (July)
To about possible $300/- plus or minus @ SWU (August)
To about $600/- plus @ SS (September)
To about $1200/- @ LCentral if I take the job and it will be after CPF and after giving my mum her allowance.
4 times a week. Is workable. To get my Secret Plan to work too. Moreover, we have about the same customer base. And I would need a place to do data admin and to get my customers too. No clashes with LCentral.
But my cert. I want my cert! And I will not get it till Nov 1st. And that is if I pass 70%. I sure hope I do. Plus, it means that my SECRET PLAN also need to fast forward a little, since I will be a little more busier once I take up the job.
Do I wanna work this out long long term? Even after Joshua and I have our own house? By then, I would love to have another ambition, which is to start cooking at home so Joshua can feel that he is HOME. Unless, I just cook twice a week. Will it be enough for Joshua? WHAT! I'm just working out the details in my head can..Considering other things too you know. Like stable income is another good factor. Working my mum makes work feels like my own. Not work like now at SS. I do like the kids though.
Argh! But SS may be opening a ICE SKATING rink in Singapore soon! Well, although I don't now how soon it is. I wanna be part of it! I wanna ICE-SKATE! Argh, Shirley, you go and set up your own skating rink when you have the capital next time ba. That would be so cool! When should I put that plan in my life. When I'm 30? What about 29? Hmm, sounds good. Haha, like I have any idea how to. I'm thinking too much right?
Well, maybe Geez never had the intention to quit. She only wants a pay raise. If she had, she would be saying that I will be looking for a job if you don't want to increase my pay. Then maybe all this consideration is for nothing. Well, I know there is a person who may take this job anyway, and also hardworking, not demandind and also, someone, my mum will trust and be happy. Wonder if I suggest this person to my mum, what would she think? Well, think I ask the person first.
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