Thalassemia Minor

So..basically it means that there is no treatment for a Thalassemia minor, after research on the web..

Well..I really do not know what to say.
People were always think how come I'm always tired..How I managed to sleep so much and still feel tired etc..

I think I finally got the answer for you guys and understand the condition I'm in.
As a Thalassemia minor (which I know since I was in pri school..)..etc. The doctor says that I can lead a normal life etc.
They somehow left out on the mini parts to what a minor mean.

So finally, I understand that.
Cause as a minor, you may have mild symptons of Anemia..(which should not be mixed up with Iron-deficient Anemia)
These symptons include
- Tired
- Fatigue EASILY (Just had to highlight this)
- Appear Pale (Which is not good when I do want to look full of life!..)
- Develop Palpitations (Feeling of heart racing) (Think I have yet to experience that..I think..Unless is the NUS thing..)
- Short of Breath (Use to have Asthma..but I'm totally cool now..)
etc, which I would not like to mention.

So..I totally understand how I can sleep for super long hours yet still feel sleepy.

The thing is that there is no treatment, which is like urgh...
The good news is that this disease does not get worse as patient gets older,,

While some recommend taking of Vitamin B12, Vitamin C..

and Iron, some says that we should not take iron as a minor is not equals to Iron-deficient Anemia, and should not take iron as we can get iron overload..Hmm..

But I think a little iron is still good for me. =)

The thing I should be thankful for..is that..it says, the gene of Thalassemia minor helps in protection against malaria, thus this gene thrive in Africa. So..that's good news for a start.

As for the looking sleepy part and easy fatigue, I think I can exercise more, eat more healthy fruits and drinks lots of water..and put make up to make me look fresh.

Ok. That's all.

First Time Ever!

Perhaps due to the overwhelming exhaustion that I had experienced during the Open House for the Centre..

I went a little bizzare after that.
Had a super long nap.
Woke up and receive Sweet Heart at the front door.
As he surfed the net and I went for my morning (almost afternoon shower),
he crossed upon a place called Austin Hills in Malaysia.
Randomly, he asked, "Shall we go there?"
And I said, "OK!"
Almost immediately, I went to my elder sister's room to grab a luggage and started packing.
Joshua seemed a little stunned and he was like are you serious?
I was like Yeah! Why not? So..he continued his research to see if it was worth the trip online and called the place etc, while I continued packing.
I guess he did not want to disappoint me by being certain that we are really going..
What if we are not going?
I told him that I can just unpacked the stuffs..
I continued my packing.

It was only when he himself was certain that we were going that he started to get excited himself, telling me to bring the snacks and wine over to drink..and a movie as well.

Then..the word Austin Hills keep bombarding my head. Why does it sounds so familiar?
Like super familiar as if I have been there.
In my mind, I was pretty sure that it was that hotel. But it turns out to be the other hotel that I went for my Church Malaysia trip. Well..I have been there before. Haha. A long time ago.
On the way..

Checking in..
When we finally arrive at our room, Joshua was so amaze at how big the room was..It was HUGE!Impress with the entrance.
Impress with the cupboard and dressing table.
Impress with the huge tub.
And the TV that came with it.
After swimming at the pool, we headed to Jusco and ate Dinner.

It wasn't too bad an experience.
But the sad thing was..we have to check out the next day!!! But I just got here! Oh well..At least it was relaxing..


And the next day when I went to work, which was yesterday..I was still in a daze.Opps. I think I haven't fully recovered from the exhaustion. But thank my mum that she said I need not go to work today. Haha..Initially, I still wanted to go but I decided that, well, maybe I should rest at home and relax. After all, it is the school Holidays! Haha excuses..

I love a Blue Rose

A Blue Rose -
Uplifts my mood in the midst of so many lies
(Not exactly lies until they...well, since they said "later"..as long as they fulfill it within their life)
Makes my aching legs worthwhile
Helps me see beyond what I'm doing (Although there is officially only one sign up)
Reminds me of your love for me.
I know you think of me.
And your Blue Rose encourages me.
I love you.


The story Blue Rose.
Once upon a time, there was a girl and a boy. Upon looking the field of roses, the girl said, "I wish that there is a Blue Rose. I would love to have one." And so, the boy went all over looking for a Blue Rose but to no avail. He thought, if only he can fulfill the wishes of the girl I love. So he tried painting them, but the paint was too thick. He tried colouring it but it only kill the rose. Nonetheless, with determination and the will of love encouraged him. The boy made a decision to study the plant, and found a solution. He gave the girl, a White Rose in a pot. A little disappointed, yet elated at the same time that the boy she is in love with gave her a flower. She accepted it with gladness.

Daily, the boy secretly showered the White Rose with blue ink. One fine day, when the girl got up of her bed and looked out at her window, she saw a Blue Rose. Not only that, she caught the boy red handed with a bottle of blue ink.

-----

Well, I'm not good at telling stories but, a Blue Rose, signifies an added effort in loving someone, making the 'impossible' possible. =)

I really need to rest after a long day's of work. I'm glad that Joshua came back to surprise me with a Blue Rose in front of everyone. =)

I love Blue Roses. =)

I love Joshua. =)

Can't Really process the information

My elder sister finally came back home. Perhaps for half an hour?
Supposedly from Japan.
And guess what? The first thing she came and told me was "I show you something".
The next thing I know..I'm looking at her wedding pictures on her handphone. The gown she bought. And her wedding ring.

Well, it is not like my elder sister got married then she came back home to announce it..she will be in December in Vietnam..at a church in the mountain..Romantic..And I will probably have to buy a plane ticket..Hmm..

I'm happy that she is gonna get married etc..maybe this is my first experience of someone so extremely close family getting married that I'm not used to. Can't believe that my elder sister is moving to her next stage of life or whatever you called that. Has she found the one?

Seems like I'm still believing in such a thing as called the one. May she have a happy marriage. =)

I'm still feeling tired though I just woke up. I was having rescuing a royal family from drowning in my dream.. Can't help it. Is funny that all of them are from different races but in the same room. I told them that my soldiers are slowing down the drowning of their homes but they have to leave right now. And they refuse to believe me. Some totally, some half-heartedly due to peer pressure, until they saw the water gushing to the room where they are in and while some half-hearted believers immediately came to me asking where should we go in emergecy mode, some chose to remain in denial, telling themselves that this c an't be happening, remain frozen in their chairs, until I had to drag them but they still refuse to leave. Wonder what was going through their head..

Must we only see to believe?
And why do some, despite seeing still try to tell themselves this is not true?

Anyway, I managed to save some while some was swept away by the water. And there was this 2 mother and son. Still frozen to their seats. Gragged them out and got them moving half way and all of a sudden, the mother shouted no! And carried her son back, wanting to go back to their seats and I had to pull them again..

The water was rising fast. By the time they realised that their seats were swept away by the water, they went running back to us..but it was too late. I had the door closing while trying to grab her. My people pulled me in. But I was unable to save them both.

On the other side of the door, I heard knockings. But it was too late. The door will never be open. The knocks became softer and lesser and eventually it stopped. And while the rest were relief that they were 'safe', I was banging the door, crying out no! When 2 other soldiers pulled me away from the door. We had to continue our escape.

We came through a series of tunnels with lots of people trying to get onto a the many mini boats, some swam. The water was still rising uncontrollably that led to a massive panick. We managed to get 2 boats. But in my dream, the number of royal people were much lesser than those we began with. We had to navigate through the tunnels to get out..through the slopes and gushing water..some did not make it.

At the corner of my eye, I saw a boy. In this dream, I was exceptionally concern for this boy. I'm not sure if that boy was my child or not in my dream. Nonetheless, I jumped off the boat and swam to him. Among so many helpless people, I went towards the boy. When I finally reached him, we hugged, as if we had known each for many years. Both of us knew we had to get out. While the mini boats were far gone, we swam. Empowered with much more determination to survive, we helped each other. We dragged each other up the slopes, as among the panick, we were focused on our goals. The same goal to get out.

The last scene of my dream was a tunnel with a light shinning through. And we were heading towards it.

It is funny. I can't believe it. A little me. Yet with such heroic and fearless behaviour in my dreams. This is not the first time in my dreams. Why when I dream of disasters, I would be leading? Do I really need a disaster to come for me to become a leader?
Who are my supporters in my dream? Why will there always be loyal soldiers who will listen to me? Why will there be a special someone that I will be determine to save? How did I have such determination in my dreams?

What about now? Now that I'm actually living and not in my dreams.. How did I become so timid to be righteous or a hero?

I still believe that there is something special in my blood. Ok. I may have watched too much movie etc.. At times like this, I do believe that I have a hero's blood within me.

You may think I'm having ridiculous talk. But haven't you felt like that before?

Alright. Sweet Heart, I hope that you are feeling better. =)
Tata.

Dear Readers..

Dear Readers,

This is my first time not working on a Saturday, as I had the luxury of getting my mum to work on my behalf while I join Joshua in this Port Union Lunch Gathering of sorts..The food was not that bad but also not that fabulous.

While, I'm blogging I'm actually quite worried that my mum is unable to handle the computer herself plus there may be some potential sign up and usually, I'm the one who does the computer thing. Well..it seems like things are going well with my mum. We have 2 new sign up! Suddenly, I'm wondering if the posters I put up will be torn away..Well, I can re-print them and put them up again. =)

So..I shall not worry..
Finally, My mum is able to do it.

Also, I just packed my room. Once again. It seems like I can't keep my room clean constantly. I'll need to have once in a blue moon good clean up. I would say that my clean up is still not that fabulous. Because, I know that the drawers beside me needs cleaning. But no one can see..so..let's not do it for now. Afterall, it is my off day. I should use the time to relax! Wow! It is so great to have a Sat OFF! =)

I'm still hoping for more sign ups at my centre. Somehow, my mind will keep thinking about the centre. Even when I'm on break like now..and then, I will tell myself like right now, not to think about it and enjoy my rest.

Shirley! Enjoy your rest now!

My Sweet Heart can't really grasp the idea that I'm working with a low paying job. (Considered) But I do not mind. Though, now, I'm really feeling the impact of it. Still..I have already signed a contract. A year. I wouldn't feel the impact much if I did not have to give my mum $500 a month. (A clue that my job earns more than $500) Luckily, I'm not a big spender. Phew! What a relief. I would like to go shopping soon though.. =) *winks*

Then again, my room is already crowded! If I buy more things, I'll have to re-think, re-construct my room or something. Aiyah..not too much can le lah.


I have been pondering about a issue. About having a kid..
Working at the centre, I see many kids..I see the joy of having a kid. I see the frustration of having a kid. I understand the cost of having a kid. I am beginning to grasp the burden or better put, the responsibility of having a kid.

You know, as I was younger, I know that I wanted to have a kid on my own. By 19! So that I would be a young mom. Haha..
Truthfully, I have to admit, I did not picture a dad in my mind. And when I thought about having a kid, it was just a baby, toddler, probably max 4-5 years old in my mind. The joy of having a kid was so great then.. I know that I wanted to have one.

This year, 22..Not a kid. THANKFULLY!
It is a financially draining to have a kid. And I wouldn't have been able to have a kid and raise a kid by myself.
I'm just beginning to understand the responsibility of having a kid.
Having a kid, is not having a baby..a toddler, a small 4-5 year old child.
Far longer than that (Reminds me of my email..out of point)
Far longer than that..
Having a Kid, is also having a primary school kid, a secondary kid, a teenager, a young adult..
And looking at my elder sister and my mum's experience of having her kid 'rebelling' against what she thinks is right etc..(Uni education can screw pple up sometimes..but lets not talk about that now..)
Yar.
Having a kid is like having my elder sister.
Having a kid is like having Joshua Chan
Having a kid is like having me.

And the experience does not end.

And so..
I did not refute when Joshua once again states his opposition against having a kid. (I did not say I want to have a kid)
I did not refute when Joshua said what's the point of having a kid.
Indeed, it will never be easy to have a kid.
What's the point of having a kid?
What's the purpose of having a kid?

Probably in many males mind and "modern"(May not be the right term) female..
There is no point of having one. An extra unwanted costly burden.

I agree that it is a costly (1 million to raise up a child)
Burden(Responsibility to make sure that I can teach a child to grow up and be a righteous, upright, loving generous, considerate person...etc and I'm not even half of what I want my child to be..how can my child be like that?)

What's the purpose?
But when I work, I saw the joy of having one.
The joy that maybe all parents may not have..that overshadows all future torment for the child.
I look up to some parents who come with their kids to my centre. I respect them when I see such intimate relationships.

I learn from others..how to not treat their kids badly..

But still, it will never be enough to give a reason to have a kid.

Well, I don't expect to have a kid. Not because I detest having one or see no purpose in having one. I will submit to the one I'm with. For I'm taught to submit. And I believe in submitting. I understand the reasons for not having one. And I can respect that.
Cause I'm serious with finishing life's race with the one I'm with.

I'm also beginning to understand why parents put their hope in their kids. Because it is like a hope of re-living their lives the way they hope to be. (Since you can't turn back time) I use to hate it when parents 'force' their kids to learn something they themselves miss out. And in my mind, I'll ask, why can't they learn themselves and stop forcing what you wanna do on me. I have things that I wanna do too..

My job, not that great a deal of money. At least, I'm learning about relationships. Parents and kids.

Will I ever have a kid next time? I'll never know. Just let things be. I have yet to get my house yet. One step at a time. Maybe when the timing (as in in minds..)is right. Maybe not.
Does it matter? =)
I know I'm not ready.
Beginning to think that I'm naive for thinking I was when I was in my teens.

Little Projects in my head

I know is crazy when Sw says to make a real long film to be screen in cinema. I told him that he is crazy. But then, I realise that I too, have my own crazy dreams. I dream of having my own kindi! Haha..

Part of me don't think it is serious, but i just like writing down ideas whatever rough books I can find, as if i'm really having this real project..Like how I did with my Skating ideas..Maybe I'm someone who just does not have a single aim in life. When I'm so into something, I will be so into it. And when I'm brought out of the scene, I will be so into other things. Well, no wonder people say i'm not serious.

There are so many things in life to venture into..I can't seem to pick one I really love and have passion for. Those are variables..I keep telling myself. At least, stay true to the things that matters the most.

Stay true to my faith. Stay true to the people I love. As for things, it comes and goes. I just like having different experiences in doing different things.

You never know. I may actually direct a great film one day. Or be a humbling and loving teacher at a kindi. You never know. But right now, I still am writing my kindi plan. Hmm, what about my inline-skating? I still love skating. But right now, I gotta focus on helping my mum and her business. Once her business is smooth sailing, which I so hope will be soon, I will start to pursue my interest again. Whatever my interest will be.. =)

Still, it is irritating to not be able to blog about work right here...due to image reasons..So, I shall be silent. BUT IT IS A REALLY GOOD COMPANY! I believe in my teachers. They are real good teachers. =) If only I had teachers like them back then when I was young..but well, even if I turn back time, I wouldn't have teachers like that cause I'm totally not interested in learning English back then. I was into Art..Into Badminton..into skating...I had my own students when I was in Primary school! Believe it or not..Haha..Maybe I do like to teach! haha..

Sorry..Just checking out my own passion. How can anyone be so certain of their passion? They must be really focus people. Ok. Time to relax..

Love my work when people signs up. Cause it means that people too trust in my teachers. =)